update

Wow. I haven't been on here in a WHILE! Good thing I don't have any followers... :)

Things are changing. Yet, the more they change, the more things all feel the same sometimes. This summer and fall flew by in a whirlwind. In the blink of an eye, months passed and here I am. In the same place I fear to be.

However, things have been good! I said goodbye to an old love that moved on in a hurried pace. I had an old love rekindled, just to burn out all over again. Will it light again?!?

My family is still strewn across the plains, and we lost my grandfather a few weeks ago. It was sad and upsetting, as any death is. But when one has been living confined and uphappy, sometimes it's a step in the right direction when they leave us and move on to a more spiritual world. My grandfather had been severly depressed ever since my grandmother died when I was in high school. The weird thing? They both passed on my dad's birthday. hum. It makes you think a little bit about how we are all connected somehow.

I lost my job in September. About 80 of us were laid off that day. It was rough. We made the best of it, and celebrated that night. "To new beginnings!" we toasted. Yet, I feel stuck. Unable to find work in this city, my optimisim and bright demeanor are starting to fizzle. But I know things will fall into place. They will. THEY WILL!

You, know, sometimes I lie in bed at night and I think to myself. I think, "when you were little is this what you wanted? Is this what you thought life would be like?"

And that brings me to my next post....